Britta and Me

Yesterday, I went to the park with my family. This is a somewhat usual occurrence for us. Often times we go and hang out at the park so my daughter can play and get some energy out. Sometimes its all of us that go and sometimes its just her and dad or mom. But this day we all went. It was one of those beautiful days that was warm but not to warm. The sun was out and there was a nice quite breeze. All in all it was the perfect park day. So we jumped into the car after naps and headed to the park. When we got there it was full of kids climbing things, running around, playing tag and games about dinosaurs that they had made up. The smaller kids were chasing the ducks and dog's were out getting there walks in. Babies were in their strollers being walked around the small pond where dads and their sons were bonding as they fished for anything that would bite. What a beautiful scene of God's creation and His people enjoying life. When we got there my daughter and I headed out to the playground and we climbed all the steps. We went on the swings with big underdogs and lots of laughter. We went down the slides and through the tunnels. We climbed the rock walls and went on the monkey bars. It was pure joy seeing her enjoy the outdoors and all the things that her body would allow her to do as she got her energy out. For me it was a big day as I enjoyed my daughter and my family being able to be there together and enjoying one another.
The reason I write this is because the park for was often a place that I did not enjoy my family. It was often a place where my mind would be thinking about all the things I needed to do and get done. It was a place where I was distracted by ministry and work and projects hanging over my head. Which often left me irritated and irritable. It often made our time at the park short and left my family always wanting more. You see I was consumed with what I had to do rather than who I needed to be in that moment. Because I was so consumed with what I needed to do I missed out on lots of things. I missed out on small moments of laughter, joy and God's creation. I missed out on my daughter's desire to be with her daddy. I missed out on the laughter and the moments of trust when she wanted me to help her. I was not in those moments because I was so distracted by what I had to do. But yesterday and over the last few weeks I have been desiring to be in those moments. To embrace being a dad so that I can enjoy my family and enjoy being a dad. Being in those moments allows me to see the love that I have been missing. It allows me to see my daughter as my child and not a chore. It allowed my wife to have a few moments to think. It allowed my son to laugh as he got put in the swing for the first time. And I did not miss it this time. I was there. Fully present with my family. It was such a huge moment for me and my prayer is that I will be able to continue to BE the dad I need to be and stop just doing the things that will always be there to get done.